Out-of-Body-Experience
Report
I do not know exactly how old I was when I
had this experience, but
everything happened in our new home, so I must have been 11 years old,
at
least.
On that day I left my flat on the first floor
when, all of a sudden, I
heard a voice behind me. I quickly turned around but there was nobody.
I cannot
recall the exact words, but the voice said, in effect, that the quality
of my
world that I knew of was nothing compared to the one that he would be
able to
show me. “Nonsense” I said to myself and started to run down the stairs
to the
basement in a boisterous and cheerful way. There were only a few steps
left
when I jumped up high knocking my head against the ceiling.
The impact of this blow sent me down on my
knees and I quickly passed
out. I fell into a deep blackness. I remember going through a kind of
black
hose. At the end of it, I felt being drawn back by a mysterious force,
but I
resisted because I did not want to go back through that black hose
again. I
went forward and suddenly I found myself in a grey space.
I did not know where I was, and, looking
around, I saw in some distance
someone slowly coming towards me. Actually, I did not see this figure
at all
because there was nothing to look at. However, I sensed a grey figure
being
there. I definitely knew that there was someone. I said: “I have lost
my way.
Could you please show me the right way back?”
The next thing I knew was that I was lying on
the basement floor.
I heard this extremely uncomfortable ringing
noise, which gradually
became more and more intense. Then the noise stopped, and, all of a
sudden, I
realized that a white, gauze-like material was very slowly oozing out
of my
head.
It took on the shape of a very long stocking
and floated at a slight
angle right above me. I became very embarrassed, because I did not want
to be
seen by anyone with this material coming out of me. Meanwhile, more and
more of
this gauze-like material was collecting itself under the ceiling and I
could not
do anything to stop it.
I did not feel any pain whatsoever in this
process.
Suddenly it dawned on me that I was out of my
body. It must have
happened the moment this oozing stopped.
I saw a body lying on the floor, which could
only belong to me.
I was shivering and I quickly wanted to
return to my body and its warmth
when I heard someone say:” Stop! Before going back, see what it is like
outside!” However, I did not pay any attention to the voice. Although I
could
not see any physical body but my own, this voice was quite near. Then I
heard
it again, this time it was begging me very earnestly. ”Please, do not
go back,
I beseech you. Why do you not want to discover your new faculties
first? You
may still go back if you do not like them.”
I hesitated. After all, this voice was right.
Why shouldn’t I give it a
try? On that the voice said quickly:” Test your mind! If you do you
will
discover that you can think in a way you have never experienced before.”
The voice was right again. I could think very
lucidly indeed, and I was
able to understand very quickly with a directness that did not leave a
trace of
doubt.
Then I heard the voice again:” If you are
willing to stay outside of
your body, you will make a wonderful journey and you will see many
interesting
things. However, you must decide quickly! So hurry up!”
Eventually I began to consider the whole
situation. It was really up to
me whether I wanted to return to my body and live the life on Earth
with all
its limitations and with all its joy or to stay outside in this
condition of
clear thinking. The voice again urged me to hurry up and to tell him
whether I
had made up my mind.
I gave in. I decided to stay outside and I
instantly realized that my
body had to die, meaning total destruction by decay. I thought to
myself:” How
sad for my mother!”
As for me, I did not feel any regrets,
because my body was now only a
wrapper to me, a burden of which I freed myself the moment I had
decided to
stay outside.
Presently I realized that I was able to move
freely about in a way I had
never experienced before. I was floating right through the walls of our
house[1] and up into the
sky. In the distance, I saw a great shining ball, which was the sun.
I felt irresistibly attracted to it by its
brightness and I wanted to go
right into it. No sooner had I thought this when I hit something that
catapulted me far out into blackness.
I tried once more, but it all happened again.
I quickly learned that
there had to be an invisible barrier that I could only approach but not
overcome.
I had another go and this time I stopped
right in front of this barrier
in order to watch the sun, which was now shining in a reddish glow. Its
size
was relatively small because I had to look at it from a distance, which
was
determined by this invisible barrier. Nevertheless, the reddish glow of
the sun
did not satisfy me at all. Suddenly the voice said:” There are more
lights!”
As I was looking around, I saw in the
distance a multitude of other
lights, which shone much brighter than the Earth’s sun. I wanted to be
with
those lights!
Although they were far, far away, I could
reach them in an instant.
However, each individual light had its own effective barrier that
knocked me
off into the blackness again every time I tried to approach it.
Getting in contact with these barriers was
very unpleasant, because
every time I touched them, my whole being was violently shaken.
All of a sudden, the voice said:” Look for a
single, bright light and
approach it slowly.”
I chose an individual light whose brightness
was much greater than all
the other lights around it and I approached it very carefully. I saw a
huge
ball burning incredibly bright.
The voice told me that it was one of the many
stars that I was able to
see from the Earth.
I was watching this ball for quite a long
time until I could not look at
it any longer.
Therefore, I withdrew into the blackness
again. I began to consider my
situation. I could not stay in that blackness forever. There must be a
way out.
I looked around and I saw another cluster of
stars that was strangely
twisted. I wanted to go there but I heard the voice say:” They are all
alike.
Go up!” I did not know where up was, but tried all the same - with
success,
because I saw very far away, over the blackness, a shimmering line. I
wanted to
go there in spite of that incredibly long distance, but I only wanted
to go to
the edge of this line, because I did not know whether it had a barrier
or not.
I covered the distance instantly. This time
there was no barrier that
would repel me.
The light came from another world. (While our
world is black -with
lights in it - this other world is bright).
However, I could not enter this world. I was
moving around in every
direction trying to figure out a passageway to this world. I soon
realized that
there was only one possibility: Hurling myself down this black abyss
that lay
right in front of me. I hesitated.
I did not have the courage to jump. But,
suddenly, I heard the voice
again:” There is no other way! You will have to jump! Jump! Jump!”.
Then I
jumped.
I do not know what happened next, but I do
remember very vividly that I
suddenly found myself moving at a tremendous speed through a tunnel of
blackness. I had entered this tunnel headfirst. My whole being was in a
kind of
a cylinder or pipe and I shot through this tunnel like a capsule in the
tubes
of a pneumatic post.
I was moving faster and faster, until I was
ejected far into this new
universe. The blackness was instantly substituted by a sort of dim
brightness
(if I may say so).
I tumbled over myself several times very
vehemently until I felt being
slowed down by this new world. I remember thinking:" Why are they
treating
me so rough?” when I felt this new world closing in on me while
simultaneously
the old world was retreating until I was completely taken up by this
new world.
While being ejected I heard the voice shout
at me:” This is your world!
You do not belong to us! You have to remain in this world! Don’t you
ever try
to come back?”
I turned around and I saw a piece of the
black world, which I must have
trailed behind me while being ejected, withdraw to the opening where it
was
finally sucked up.
The moment the old world was shut out, I was
immediately taken up by the
new one, so much so, that I was thoroughly convinced that I could only
further
exist in this new world. I had no choice anyway. The black world was
gone. I
was now an inseparable part of this new world.
I thought to myself:” This scoundrel of a
voice! He has betrayed me by
forcing me into this world. There is no way back! This is final!
Hopefully, I
will be able to breathe and not suffocate to death.”
Therefore, I tried to breathe, but I soon
found out that no breathing
was necessary. I simply could exist. As long as I was in the black
world, I had
never thought about breathing.
As I said earlier, everything around me was
dimly bright. Although it
was bright, I could not see clearly. The impact of the finality of the
condition I was in was overwhelming.
Although I felt being part of this new world
I did not know anything
about it. I felt utterly alone, betrayed, very tiny and insignificant.
No other
soul far and wide. I started wailing about my situation. I did not know
what to
do. I felt very miserable.
All right, I was able to move freely wherever
I wanted to go. However,
where should I go?
No one was there! No one?
Nevertheless, there were voices very far
away! In fact, I heard two
voices. I could hear them say, in complete disbelief, something like
that,”
Look, look, there is a little soul! Look there is a young soul! What is
he
doing here? How did he come here?”.
Voices in this world were actually no voices
at all. Something was
thought and I immediately understood what they were talking about. What
I am
reporting now are impressions and not the meaning of actual words.
These
impressions were, however, so clear that I had no doubts whatsoever.
I continued complaining that I would not know
anyone in this bright
world and that I had been forced to come there. The voices drew nearer.
However, I could not see anybody. I simply sensed their presence, which
was
very fine with me. I now knew that there were beings in that world with
whom I
was able to communicate. Beings, however, that were simultaneously
strangers,
but friendly ones.
The beings urged me to go back where I had
come from. I thought this very
ridiculous being now a part of this new world. Moreover, even if I
really
wanted to go back, which was impossible, how should I proceed? In
addition,
even if I did succeed in finding my way back, I would not have the
slightest
idea where my native world, Earth, lay. Then I sensed that they wanted
to force
me out of this world. I became very upset and I thought:“ No one can
force me
to leave this world. I have a right to stay here, because I am a part
of it.
The two beings must have understood what I
was thinking, because I could
not sense their voices any longer. Then, one of the beings guided me (I
do not
know how) to a place that I had not seen before. The other one must
have gone
away calling for assistance in attempting to find the right approach of
how a
situation like that should be handled.
This place turned out to be a meadow with
many flowers in it. It was a
wonderful meadow, but I knew that it was only an image of a meadow,
somehow
conjured up and suspended in this new world. The being asked me to play
on the
meadow, but I could not. I simply did not know how.
All of a sudden, I was aware of a tiny bright
light far away in the
"sky" but rapidly coming nearer and nearer. It was shaped like a ball
and it was indescribably bright. I tried to shade my eyes, but I did
not need
to. Despite its incredible brightness and brilliance, it did not dazzle
me a
bit!
Presently, this light stopped at a distance
right above me. It was a sun
about the same size as the sun of our world, but it was indescribably
brighter.
I kept staring at this sun wondering how a light could possess such
brilliance.
(The brightness of the lights in the black world was brilliant, too,
but of a
different nature).
Suddenly I realized that it was scrutinizing
me very closely. On that,
it opened up, and a beam came pouring down on me, and I heard it
shouting at
me:" I can destroy you if you do not tell the truth about your being
here!" I answered:" But I do not know anything else but the
truth!"
Then something happened that I would never,
never forget. Love, pure,
utter love came pouring down on me along with incredible warmth. My
whole soul
or being was immersed in this love. He lifted me up and gave me a kiss
on my
mouth. This being of light loved me deeply, infinitely deeply, and more
and more
intensively. I was happy! I could have stayed in this beam of love
forever. If
my story had been a lie, the being of light would have annihilated me.
I had a
clear conscience anyway, so there was no reason to fear anything.
Gradually the loving became weaker and I felt
that something was wrong
with me - something that made it very difficult for the light to
continue with
his love. He was trying not to tell me why. Finally, however, he was
not able
to keep it up any longer and he quickly said:" You have a smelly
breath" and "You need a bath".
I received the impression that I would have
to take a bath similar to
that I was used to on Earth, but by dipping the whole body. It was made
plain
to me that this process was going to be unpleasant, but I could stop it
when it
became too painful for me to bear.
Although I could not comprehend the reason, I
was willing to do what the
being of light wanted me to do. I was lifted up and put into a red
light. I
closed my eyes. I could not feel anything. I did not know for how long
I had
been in this state. After some time, however, I realized that I was
being
tossed about rather rigorously. It was like being in a washing machine.
I
cried:" I think that is enough!"
Immediately, I was lowered down and the love
and the warmth were
switched off, but I still remained in this beam (or sphere).
Suddenly the sun disappeared and I saw a
moon. I was in a different
world. Everything was black but the moon, which was right in front of
me. It
was much clearer and more refulgent than the moon in our world. There
was not a
trace of blackness in it. The moon was surrounded by a wreath of
little, bright
stars. I kept staring at this shiny moon when suddenly I felt a strange
sensation entering through my left eye and spreading into the deepest
recesses
of my brain. I was wondering about the fact that I could distinctly see
the
moon with my left eye that had always been weaker than my right one and
I
suddenly realized that right in front of me were all the answers to any
questions we might have on Earth. I got very excited about this and I
tried to
locate the place about which I wanted to tell our scientists on Earth
that they
should come and see this extraordinary place.
I tried to pinpoint this place by looking at
the left side of the moon and
counting the little bright stars. However, in doing so I realized that
they
were not stars but in turn little moons.
Again, I was looking at the left side of the
moon and the more I was
looking the more little moons were coming up in a straight line, one
little
moon after the other. There was no hope of locating this place. Then I
began to
feel cold and I was shivering. I remembered the sun of our world, its
warmth
that sometimes may have been too hot but, overall, it was life-giving
warmth. I
desperately wanted to return to the bright, living sun. Only then did I
realize
that I was looking at the moon with my left eye while my right eye was
closed.
I wanted to open my right eye to see the sun again but I was not able
to.
I wanted to leave the moon, which I was no
longer interested in. I
wanted to go back to the bright, living sun. I tried very hard but in
vain, I
even felt an extremely unpleasant pain in my head. All of a sudden,
however,
the moon with its black surroundings disappeared and I saw this
incredible
bright sun again.
Suddenly the sun started to move backwards
changing its colours to a
deep dark red. It kept moving back into the sky until it was a very
tiny red
light. (Like a point). Then it began to move very quickly. At one time
I saw
the bright sun on the left side and then the red sun on the right side,
dancing, as it were, from left to right and from right to left.
I felt that the sun wanted to communicate
with me. I thought to myself
that up here the suns cannot speak but just move about and that this
was their
way of talking.
Then it stood still and I saw the bright sun
in front of the tiny red
sun. Nevertheless, I could not make out what this was all about. I
regarded the
whole spectacle more as a funny and entertaining act than anything
else.
However, it was not funny at all. I suddenly felt that I should be
transferred
back into the world with the shiny moon and I remembered the unpleasant
pain
and the cold that I had encountered there.
Suddenly I realized that the bright sun in
front of me was the shiny
moon and that the red sun had the moon safely under control making in
fact one
sun. This was the message that the sun had wanted to get across.
Then the being of light wanted to talk to me
on a man-to-man basis.
He placed me on top of a high mountain where
I had to sit on a large
piece of rock.
I asked him why he had wanted to destroy me,
and he told me that there
existed also evil but very powerful and cunning beings who were his
enemies
with whom he had been constantly fighting. He also told me that I had
to warn
my world against them, and I automatically nodded in agreement. He said
that
his enemies had wanted to play a trick on him by using me as a kind of
trap,
but he had to defend this world and the black one. His world, however,
would be
much easier for him to defend, because the evil beings had no power in
it and
he had no power in the black world.
I realized having been positioned in such a
way that I was able to
overlook a huge stretch of clouds that were marvellously illuminated
from
below. Suddenly a flash of lightning whose intense light was much
greater than
that of the bright world, forced me to look up. Then a big bang
followed, but I
was totally unperturbed. At the horizon, I saw smoke bulging out of the
clouds
and gradually taking on the shape of a mushroom. It grew larger and
larger and
brighter and brighter. I was in complete awe.
Suddenly everything was gone. I heard the
light call:" Look
here!" I turned around, and I heard screams and I saw fire and smoke
almost surrounding me. I did not comprehend what this was all about,
when
suddenly the light cried:" I will do everything in my power to prevent
this from happening!" Then everything was over.
Again, the bright light wanted to talk about
his enemies. However, I was
still very impressed with what had just happened. So I thought to
myself:"Oh no, not again!"
However, the light made me aware of the fact
that this war had been
going on for a very long time, and the evil beings had become more and
more
powerful, and if this continued he would not see any means of
preventing them
from taking over everything. He said that if the enemy had really
succeeded in
coming into his world, the war would have been lost. He would have been
powerful enough, no doubt, to fight them off, but the war would have
been lost
in the long run. He was really afraid of loosing this war.
Then it was intimated to me that he needed
help. I wanted to help him,
and I replied:" Yes, but how?" He answered that the only way I could
help him was by going back and telling my world what had happened to me.
I was completely shocked to hear him say so,
because I did not want to
go back. I was so depressed that I almost started to cry.
All of a sudden he asked:” Would you like to
know what will become of
you later on in your life?” I looked up and answered cheerfully: “Yes,
I would
love to".
He said:" You will become a teacher." To a
certain extent I
was disappointed and repeated:" A teacher? “ He said:" Imagine a
teacher in your world and show me what it is like being one."
I imagined, quite vividly, a teacher who was
standing in front of his
pupils giving lessons. The light said: “No, not that kind of teacher."
I
was then thinking of a university professor lecturing to his students.
The
light said :" Not that kind of teacher. You are going to teach the
university teachers!".
I was surprised and almost could not believe
it. Besides, I considered
this quite difficult. I imagined a map of my world, and I saw myself in
future
life going from place to place, from university to university teaching
the
university teachers of my world.
But the light said:" No, not like that. They
will come to
you!". I asked:" To my house?" and he said:" Yes, imagine
such a situation." I imagined our house on Earth, our living room, and
I
saw myself sitting on a chair opposite a stern-looking, respectable
professor,
trying to teach him. However, I failed. I was too embarrassed and too
shy. I
said:" I do not think I am clever enough to do this. Moreover, I have a
speech impediment". He answered:" You will become a new type of
teacher and I am going to explain it to you in a moment".
He then paused, and I looked up and saw
myself lying on a hospital bed
that was being pushed down a very long corridor by a member of the
medical
staff. I asked, slightly alarmed:”Am I being ill?". The light said:"
No! Just a little bit confused. You will be taken to hospital where you
will
get a shot and fall into a very deep sleep". I was not worried any
more,
and the light said:" But let me explain this new type of teacher. You
are
going to teach while being in a sort of sleep. However, it will not be
the kind
of sleep that you know of. While being asleep, you will be able to hear
and
talk, and they will come to you and ask you questions".
I was deeply impressed, but also worried. So
I asked:" Will I feel
pain in this process?". He answered:"No, it will not hurt you".
I gradually became accustomed to the idea of
becoming a teacher. So I
asked:" Will they also learn their lessons?". He made a suggestive
face, meaning that he was not sure about that. I asked him another
question:" Will I also teach them when I am awake?". He
answered:" No, you will certainly speak to them when you are awake. But
what you say while being asleep will be of much more importance".
And he showed me a room in which I saw myself
sitting on a chair talking
to someone. I actually did not see myself neither did I see the person
to whom
I was speaking. Nevertheless, I definitely knew that it was I, because
I was
now in that room looking about. I saw a low table, books on the walls,
two
windows, and drapes that were moving in front of a window by a slight
draught
of wind.
Suddenly the room disappeared and the light
said:" Before doing
this, you will have to write down everything that has happened to you.
Every
detail of it. You will have to make a scientific report".
I said:" Of course". And the light said:" But
I am afraid
you will have forgotten everything". I shook my head in disbelief. But
he
said:" You cannot even tell me now how you came here". I could not
belief him and tried to remember what had happened on Earth. However,
to my
great surprise, I was not able to do so. The light said:" Do not worry.
A
book will help you. In fact, there will be two books, but the first one
will be
more important. Besides, you will have many books".
Suddenly the light became quite enthusiastic
and said that I was to be
the first teacher of this new type, and there would be a lot more to
come. I
was disappointed to hear him say so. Nevertheless, the light wanted to
show
what it meant being the first. He asked:" What do you think? How many
people are there in your world?” I tentatively said:" 40 millions may
be?" He said:" No, many more. You must not only think of those who
are alive. Take into account all the human beings that are dead and you
will
have a huge number of people. Let us go back in time, as far back as
possible,
and tell me how far back we should go". I suggested:" Middle
Ages". "No, farther back". "The birth of Christ".
" No, farther back". I was thinking hard. "Adam and Eve".
"No, not that. Go farther back in time and think of what you have
learned
in your history lessons".
I was thinking for some time. Eventually I
blurted out "Stone
Age".
He was disappointed, and he said:" You should
have known better,
but I think Stone Age will do".
He then told me that in that age there were
not many people living on
Earth. However, they were free to walk wherever they wanted to go, and
that
there were no borders that would keep them from roaming about. I said:"
How
beautiful". I was imagining a map of Europe, which I had seen in my
Atlas,
with all its borders.
I did not have much time to think about all
this, because, all of a
sudden, I saw human beings back on Earth.
I was looking down on a group of people, men
and women, who were dressed
in furs, sitting around a campfire. I could see a woman with her baby
on her
back, and a man who was standing in front of the group obviously making
a
speech. Another man stood a little apart. All of a sudden, I heard a
loud cry of
disappointment, and the guttural voice of the man in front of the group
of
people. I did not understand what he was saying. The scene disappeared
and the
light said:" I am going to translate for you, but you must concentrate
very hard". I certainly wanted to do so, because I was eager to hear
what
this man was talking about. Therefore, I started to concentrate. "You
call
this concentration?" the light exclaimed. "You have to concentrate
much harder!"
I was amazed to hear him say so, because I
considered my first attempt
quite satisfactory. Nevertheless, he wanted me to do better. The light
said:" Let’s have another go!" I closed my eyes and began
concentrating extremely hard. However, the light was not in the least
satisfied. He said:" I think it is useless". However, suddenly the
tone of his voice became very gentle and he came close to me and said
tenderly:"The reason for my asking you to concentrate so hard is that,
later on, you should be able to tell everything as accurately as
possible. So
you need to concentrate like you have never done before on what this
man is
going to say".
And he added in a different voice that
betrayed his
disappointment:" This is a final attempt. If you fail this time, it
will
be no use trying any longer!". I was determined to do my best. I closed
my
eyes again and tried as hard as I could to listen to what I was
supposed to
hear. All of a sudden, I was able to understand what the man was
saying. He
said:" Now we have proof. You have just heard for yourselves. What we
have
been suspecting is true. He who took on the difficult task of making
such a
dangerous journey has just returned and confirmed our suspicion. They
want to
resist us. However, we will not put up with that. I have told you again
and
again. Now the time has come to fight them. We must not wait until they
have
become stronger. They are still weak now. It is true. Nevertheless,
think of
the future! We will have to attack them now".
He was addressing the group of people in a
very impressive manner. I was
completely impressed and I could understand very well why he was forced
to
attack his enemies. But suddenly I heard this other man, who was
standing
apart, say:" I am primarily a hunter and fight the animals. I am not
going
to fight weaklings who start running away the very moment they catch
sight of
us. Every hunter would hurt his pride and honour if he did such a
thing. We
hunters fight the animals, which are by far more dangerous. Many brave
hunters
have hurt themselves in their fights. Nevertheless, we are prepared and
willing
to take the risk because we are hunters. I will never fight those
weaklings".
As for me, I could not get along with what he
was saying. After all, one
had to fight one’s enemies. I could not understand that it should be
more
honourable to fight animals than people. However, I could not go on
contemplating such things, because my eyes were forced to the ground
that
gradually began to move. At first slowly, but then faster and faster
until I
was no longer able to distinguish any details. The movement suddenly
came to a
halt. I saw grassland in front of me and in the distance there was the
edge of
a forest with very high trees. Suddenly, I was placed in the woods.
Although I
could not see anything, I knew that I was in this forest, that is,
right in the
middle of a village. I could hear the voices of some people and I heard
someone
say:" We cannot run away forever. How many times did we have to run
away?
Many, many times! Such beasts! They come and destroy our village! And
every
time we run away. But not this time! This time we are going to stay! It
cannot
go on like that forever".
I could feel fear and anxiety. They would
have liked to run away as they
had done so many times before. However, this time they had made up
their minds
and intended to stick to their firm resolve. However, they were all
full of
fear. Some voices said:" They eat meat! Imagine that! Meat! In
addition,
they build huge fires in the prairie. They dance around the fires and
bathe in
blood. However, what remains the worst: They eat meat. The very thought
of it!
In the end, they are going to eat our flesh, too."
A voice, a woman’s voice, who was sitting in
her hut, kept saying again
and again:" I am afraid. I am terribly afraid. Oh, how scared I am! I
am
scared, so scared".
I was able to feel distinctly her anxiety.
Her fear grew stronger and
stronger. She kept saying:" I am scared, I am scared". Her fear began
to take hold of me. At first I thought: “Why is she so afraid? She must
be
hysterical. How on earth can you be so afraid?!" Nevertheless, I was
being
immersed, deeper and deeper, into her feelings of sheer fear. I could
not stand
it any longer! I thought to myself:” I wish she stopped worrying now.”
It was
extremely unpleasant indeed.
Suddenly everything was over, and the light
said to me:" If they
had done nothing, nothing would have happened. It is true; they would
have come
all the same. However, nothing would have happened. This, however, will
again
lead to further dead persons!" He was stressing the words - dead
persons -and
-again-. I felt great apprehension on the part of the light concerning
the
large number of dead people, so I asked
"Again?" because I was of the opinion that I had watched the
first human beings on Earth. The light answered, however:" Hundreds of
thousands".
I was amazed at this and I could feel how the light was suffering from
the
great number of dead people.
I am not quite sure about what happened next,
but all of a sudden, I
heard a thunderous, angry voice accusing mankind, including myself, of
destroying
his garden on Earth. He shouted:” I made you human beings a wonderful
garden
and you destroy everything. Human beings poison the water and the air.
They
destroy everything. At first, the effect of their work of destruction
was
limited. However, it got worse and worse. They destroy everything that
that
they can lay their hands on. Although Man is constantly looking for
other
places, he has only this one place (Earth). You could see for yourself.
And if
they continue to destroy everything they will blow up the whole Earth
in the
end!”
I was completely perplexed.-
After some time, the light said:” Ask me that
you do not know how to
inform your world.” I answered:” But you have just told me how to do
it!”
However, he insisted by saying:” Now you are again a little and
ignorant child
that does not know how to do it!”
So I asked him that, being a little and
ignorant child, I would not know
how to inform my world. To my great surprise, the light answered in an
angry
and brusque voice:” You will know how to do it when the time is right.”
However, I did not want to leave him forever.
So I asked him if I could
come back after having told my world and stay with him permanently. He
said:”
No, you have to go back and live.”
Although I still did not know my way back,
this time I had no doubts
whatsoever. If the being of light wanted me to go back and live, I
simply had
to. It did not matter any longer how it could be done. This light had
absolute
power.
Nevertheless, I could still not understand
why. I repeatedly pleaded:”
Why? Why can I not come back? Why?Why?Why? Why am I not allowed staying
on in
your very love and warmth?”
The light answered that no one could stay
permanently with him.
However, I still was not satisfied. If it was
not possible to stay with
him, I surely could come back and stay in this bright world in which
those two
beings were already living! But the light repeated:” No, you have to go
back
and live!” “ But why have these two beings been allowed to stay?” The
light
answered that even these two beings could not stay on permanently. They
were
only in this world in order to learn. In addition, he began to
emphasize the
importance of love and learning. He wanted me to be his apprentice. He
the
master, I the apprentice. However, I still could not see what love and
learning
should have to do with my wish to stay on in this bright world.
I had, it was true, to admit that I did not
love the light, but I
certainly was willing to learn everything that he wanted me to learn.
On that, the light started, to my great
dismay, to position himself
further back in the sky, and I could not feel his presence any longer,
because
the beam had been switched off. I suddenly felt cold and very miserable.
However, one of the other beings asked me to
watch a certain place very
carefully. Indeed, they urgently asked me not to move but to fix my
eyes on to
that place. I did what I had been told to and presently I saw this
panoramic
review. Very vividly and distinctly. I was stupefied! The images of
this film
moved very rapidly, showing me my past life on Earth. I could instantly
understand everything that was being shown to me. (I cannot remember
any
details, because this was only an experiment to test my ability whether
I was
able to really understand what I was watching.)
The beings asked me several times if I could
clearly comprehend what was
being shown. I answered impatiently:” Of course, of course!” because I
was
slightly annoyed about their questions.
(In communicating with the beings, I always
used my mouth as I had done
on Earth. This was not the case when I was talking with the being of
light),
Thereupon the being of light started to show
me my past life again, but
this time the stress lay on the quality of my soul during my existence
on
Earth. When I was watching my past life the first time, I was just very
happy
to be able to watch my former world and myself. I regarded this
actually more
as an entertainment than anything else. (I did not feel miserable any
longer).
However, the second time, former events of my
life on Earth were shown
with the emphasis on my reaction to certain situations in terms of love
or
nastiness or even hatred. This was made quite clear to me, and I knew
what to
look for during the second review.
Everything started from the beginning. (I
could not see how I came into
existence on Earth, because I only had to mind my behaviour with regard
to love
or hatred).
At first I was very satisfied that nothing
was happening to which I
could have reacted with either love or hatred. Then, the film speeded
up, but
there still was not anything for which I could have been made
responsible. I
was stupid enough to say triumphantly:”See, there is nothing!” On that,
I could
see a scene in which my twin sister and I were quarrelling (I could not
make
out the reason for the argument), but I instantly knew how ugly I had
behaved.
I said to the light:” But you must understand! This is bad, all right,
but this
is the way human beings behave on Earth! You cannot really blame me for
that!”
(The great light did not blame me for anything that I had done on
Earth).
Then I was shown some more nasty scenes on
Earth in which I had behaved
badly. However, I still had excuses. Then, I think the great light
became
slightly impatient (at my stupidity, no doubt). Suddenly, the film was
accelerated
to such an extent that I was unable to distinguish any images at all.
Then it
stopped abruptly, and I was confronted with a situation in which I
behaved
extremely badly.
My behaviour was tremendously enhanced, so
that every bad aspect of my
character stood out clearly in front of me. It was horrifying! I could
hardly
believe this character of mine! I was finally convinced! Such a soul
could
never stay on in this bright world! I had no right, no claim
whatsoever! I was
completely shaken and dejected. I wanted to go back. Yes, there was
really no
other way possible.
Then I saw the light disappear into the
“Sky”, and I heard a laughter
and the words:” And he really thought he could stay on!” Then the being
of
light was gone.
One of the other beings brought me back to
Earth (I do not know how). I
only heard, while being tucked back into my body, a snapping sound like
the
sound that can be heard when you put the lid on top of a mess tin
securing it
with the catch.
When I opened my eyes, I remember starting to
cry:” I do not want to
die, I do not want to die, and I do not want to die!”
Then I picked myself up and in approaching
the staircase, I wondered if
there would ever be a way back, whereupon I heard a voice shout at me:”
Amend
yourself!” And another voice said:” You must kill your mother!” Then I
climbed
up the stairs down which I had been jumping so happily. I could only
feel a
minor swelling on the top of my head, which was not particularly
painful.
End of report.
[1] I saw my mother in front of the
kitchen stove cooking a meal